Inside the Mind of a Married Woman...

When my husband asked me how come I'm not using his surname when I introduce myself, I just opened my mouth and nothing came out! I could see the hurt in his eyes and so I finally blurted "That's an American thing. We don't do that in the Middle East." I must've repeated the sentence around three times until I was convinced that he was convinced. I was hardly convinced myself!



How come I spent my entire single life doodling my name with the surname of the then eligible bachelor and yet when I finally got married, I'm hanging on to my surname for dear life!! Just to show you we woman are never fully satisfied!



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When my husband had asked me to "take a break from working" when I got pregnant...I just couldn't wait to submit my resignation! After twenty years of working like a dog and taking work way too seriously...I needed to stop the stress so I grabbed the opportunity and quit...

At first, I went through the phase of rediscovering myself...who am I if I am not the "so so" of this company...I felt that I'd lost my identity...then by coincidence..I watched Oprah and there was Arnold's wife saying that she went through the same thing...and had said "I am the proud mother of ..." so the anxiety I felt eased up and I quickly got sucked into motherhood and was too exhausted to think of what to do for the rest of my life...

Now that my daughter is less demanding, I am wondering....what am I going to do with the rest of my life...I would love to have another baby...but like marriage...it's not up to you...(yes, you can keep at it...but it'll happen when it wants to!)....

The desperation sinked in when I found myself infront of the TV with the Wii remote in my hand playing trivial pursuit! My husband was at work and I'd woken up too lazy to get out of my pyjamas and my daughter was asleep so that's what I did!! The guilt of having nothing productive to do freaked me out....I had to have a plan to get me out of this depression...

I thought and thought and am still thinking...what should I do? Having had the luxury of not having a lousy boss to screw up my day was just too wonderful to describe...and being committed to long working hours away from my daughter was just not negotiable...so i scratched out the idea of finding a demanding job that leaves me too exhausted to appreciate watching my daughter grow up....

I asked myself....what are my passions? Can I start my own business? I love writing...maybe I'll write a novel....six chapters later....I suddenly stopped...I knew it was good....but I made the mistake of reading about how many words there are in a novel and I felt overwhemed and stopped dead turkey...was there something wrong with me?

So here I am writing in a blog and wondering...will I ever find the answer?

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It is inevitable that when two people get married they will inevitably pick up on the habits of one abother. When my husband got married he was overweight. I was at my ideal weight. I figured I'd get him into the habit of going to the gym with me and probably have him stop eating all that fried food. A year after our marriage, I'm now the one who is overweight...

One of the hardest things I needed to accept when I first got married was my husband's infactuation with computer games. My biggest enemy for the longest time was Playstation 3. I couldn't understand how someone could spend all this precious time being wasted on those games....I figured with my lecturing, I'll get him to read books that stimulate the mind sooner or later....but what do you know...I am now playing "Trivial Pursuit" first thing in the morning on the Wii....ugh!

The other day, I was so frustrated with myself that I actually asked my husband "Are there any habits that you've been able to pick up from me?" He giggled and said "Actually, yes. I used to sleep at two in the morning and now, thanks to you, I sleep at ten."

Somehow the answer made me even more upset. Sleeping at ten might be a good habit but in some people's view it could just mean they're sleeping that early because they're bored!

I know, I know...there's just no winning with us women. What can i say...I have issues!

What Would've Happened If Juliet Married Romeo?

Nobody really knows what would’ve happened if Romeo and Juliet had actually gotten married. Dr. Phil would most likely have said “Love is not enough” as mentioned in his book “Love Smart”. Love smart? What in heavens name is that? Really? How so? Ask any teenager or any woman for that matter and they’ll laugh. The most passionate of their relationships were most likely when they didn’t “Love smart”!

Back to Juliet. Did she consider other factors about Romeo? Their backgrounds were different, their families were rivalries and everybody was against the marriage. The analysis, curtsy of Dr. Phil would be “Juliet suffers from an attention disorder. Her choice to do something rebellious as to marry someone her parents didn’t approve of is just her way of revenging from her parents for all the restrictions they applied on her as a child.” Thank you Phil!

Of course in Kuwait, we do have our own Romeos and Juliets. Although some may say, “not true, this generation makes its own decision” then again it’s usually said by the new generation that is quite oblivious that they are not the norm and optimistically hope that the old school have changed. For now, let’s get real. The easiest place for a Romeo and Juliet scenario to be born is right here in Kuwait thanks to the restrictions of various issues listed below when girl meets boy:

The “Hawameer” Issue
Although a small country, Kuwait can be divided into tiny itty bitty pieces. The “Hawameer” (Big Fish) are those big families that have been around since the beginning of Kuwait. The “Originals”, if you will, just as in Horses, pure breed. Although most “Hawameers” only mingle with each other because they are so “high and mighty”, it does happen. Love is blind, remember. Once it happens, the families reaction would be “She is not original. No blue blood there Romeo so forget it or all this rich life you lead will go down the drain.”

The Standard Issue
This can be broken down into various types of standards; the financial standard, the intellectual standard, the reputation standard, the business standard and finally the tribal standard (tribes of course have more restrictions than what we call “Al Hathar” meaning the “forward thinkers” or the “Modern“. The “Hathar” stick to the old cultural habits for the pride of it all rather than the “Bedouins” who take it as a way of life. In other words they are more lenient towards cultural restrictions and know that they have moved on from the “Bedouin” way. Therefore, marrying back into the “old thinkers” is not negotiable nor is marrying into the “Hathar” acceptable from the “Bedouins” who normally marry their cousins anyway!

The Sect Issue
It would be great to tell the world that we Muslims stand as one but the whole world knows that we are split into the major two. The Sunnis and Shias. Yes, there have been many intermarriages yet I’ve heard it being said “Marry an expatriate my dear but never that sect!” (See below). (Couldn’t we all be Shonnies and make life easier!)

The Expatriate
With Kuwait’s population being the majority are expatriates, it’s easy for a girl to find herself in this situation (though some may shun from it from the beginning but it does happen.) If that were to happen, it is the “mother of all catastrophes”. “What about your kids? They won’t be Kuwaiti!! How can you turn your back on your own countrymen or country for that matter. This is non patriotic! You don’t love Kuwait. This is treason! How dare you?!”

The Religion
Same as above but place Muslim instead of Kuwait.

Poor Juliet, this and she hasn’t even left the house yet! Of course not to mention we have the flirts, the psychopaths and dare I mention the gays! Yeesh! If you’re a single girl reading this, no doubt you are nodding your head in agreement and naturally trying to figure out where your current Romeo fits in all these categories. Don’t fret, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m no fortune teller but in the end these things do have a way of working themselves out; getting married I mean, unless of course you decided to kill yourself like Juliet which is plain silly if you ask me! We all should know by now that (thank heavens) there is life after Romeo (no offence to Romeo).

Case in point Kuwaiti women have recently entered Kuwait’s parliament for the first time in history. Four amazing women with their determinations and achievements can now bring about change to the country.

Now you tell me, do they honestly have time to worry about Romeo! Not!

Juliet my dear, take a chill pill!