2012..Are you a Martyr?

My mother always has this theory that whenever we'd hear of someone dying in December...She'd look at us sadly and say "It's the end of the year and it's elimination time...so new babies can be born"...I believe she was trying to let us see the positive in the situation...which always helped..

It comes as no surprise that I've been spending time between attending Christmas parties and sadly funerals...but again...such is life...It is far easier to accept facts that death is inevitable than to accept human errors....was this Arab Spring a good idea?

Sadly, we Arabs don't particular like to strategize...which is the main advise I give in my book Dear Jawaher . I advised my daughter to think ahead in every decision she takes and also to take baby steps without taking her eyes off her visions.

When I think of the Arab Spring, I always have to shake my head in dismay and say out loud "These people haven't thought this through and sadly there's absolutely no strategy."

Ever since this all began, I was routing for the people. Everybody wants freedom and we all deserve to be free. Sadly, I don't think that the lesson learnt for the Arabs watching has been a good one. Rather than learn to stand up for our rights when there is injustice, it looks like we've decided to take justice into our own hands! For example, if someone decided to take my parking space and I think it's unfair, I'm supposed to go shopping, get a knife and stab the son of a bitch! Is this it? We've all reached the point of barbarism...marshal law?

We live in a society and culture that takes pride in who we are (everybody does but when pride turns to ego that's when we all lose). The difference between Pride and Ego is a tricky one that we Arabs fail to recognise.

We are so engrossed with the "I AM" that it's caused wars, deaths and a whole lot of negative vibes that don't seem to want to go away..If no one backs down thanks to our "Pride" then we risk the possibility of losing everything. It's kind of like saying "If I'm going down, I'm taking you all down with me" and I ask you, who wins in the end? No one!

I don't like what's happening in Kuwait, I don't like what's happening in Bahrain, I don't like what's happening in Syria, I don't like what's happening in Egypt, etc. etc. etc.

It's the end of the year and I say it's high time that we put a stop to this violence and we take a good look at ourselves...and ask our selves what do we really want? I think it's time to admit that we don't know how to strategize nor do we know how to fix a situation that's gone bad so I say call in the experts. Call in all the Psychologists, Analysts, Advisers and whatever money can buy to give us solutions to fix our ego and fix whatever political situation or domestic issues we find ourselves in.

When I argue with my husband, I can admit that I'm wrong when I've made a mistake. Sometimes I'll even wave a white flag even if it wasn't my fault just to keep the peace. There, I said it "Just to Keep the Peace". This is true martyrdom; to sacrfise one's pride and ego for the sake of peace, for the big picture. I have my empire that includes little civilians that want to live in a happy home and if it means letting go of wanting to win each and every battle, so be it. I'm a happier person when my empire is happy.

The question now is can you Arabs become real martyrs by letting go of your ego and sacrificing your pride in order to keep the peace. Can you give a man your parking space because you can? Can you stop your car to let someone pass because you can? Can you truly strategize the benefits of your empire and not just analyze the loss of your pride and ego?  Can you finally be the real martyr and lose your pride in order to WIN the war and have a peaceful home for the sake of your little civilians...your children...I hope so...It's high time we tried...

Happy New Year Kuwait...I wish you peace, love and joy...and whole lot of letting go.....

Dear Jawaher by Mona Al-Hajjaj.wmv

Bob Proctor from The Secret..ROCKS!

There's nothing more satisfying than a celebrity taking the time to read your book and sending you back a letter addressed in your name to say thank you!

Bob Proctor from the movie "The Secret" was always someone I admired and appreciated for inspiring me to do what I always loved; writing and publishing my book. When I finally got my hands on my book "Dear Jawaher" I decided to send Bob a copy for making a difference in my life.

He was gracious enough to write back....how coool is that!

My book "Dear Jawaher" At The Spring Bazaar!

If you're living in Kuwait..don't forget to visit my booth at the Annual Spring Bazaar to get your copy of my book "Dear Jawaher" or bring your copy to get it signed! Hope to see you there!

Room Temperature Is Key...

Today as I was dropping you off to your Nursery, I bumped into the blonde lady that I always seem to bump into everywhere I go. Unfortunately, I got the same internal reaction of rolling my eyes. I even remembered the words of a song that I recently heard which I loved "You're gonna catch a cold from the ice in your soul." The woman is so cold. She's like robotic! Of course another sentence from another movie comes to mind too "You could freeze ice on her ass!"

I had to question myself. Why the hell did she bug me so much? Having been raised to be sociable, warm and friendly, I find myself so irritated by the likes of this woman. According to the self development books, I should look inside myself to discover the truth hidden behind my irritability. The analysis could possibly be that I'm jealous of her lack of awareness and coldness to those around her. Could I secretly wish to be like her?!

Sometimes being too warm and friendly can have it's set backs. Upon bumping into someone and being excited to see them only to find them so absorbed into their own world that they don't give you the same reaction causes me to feel snubbed and wanting to beat myself up for being too nice. I go into my own world trying to figure out why that chick wasn't as nice as she was before. Could I have done something to piss her off? Needless to say, the whole over analysis isn't pleasant and had I been calm and collected when I saw that acquaintance, I might not have cared much to her reaction but damn it I did!

Sadly in a world whereby somebody always wants something from someone, I actually heard someone say "maybe they think you want something from them" which leads me to another aggravation. Even if I did actually want something, what kind of lousy acquaintance is that! They're being cold 'coz they don't want to do you a favor! Yeesh! In my opinion it serves that I drop that acquaintance like a hot potato...who needs acquaintances like that anyway!

In the end, I will have to face this blonde chick everyday at the Nursery for the next two years since she drops her kids too.

With that said, and since moderation in life is key...I will attempt to block her from my mind while understanding the fact that being over friendly can be exhausting and learning the art of freezing ice on one's ass may lower the temperature of my warmth and VOILA......Room temperature is born!

The Bully and The Bodyguard

As I mentioned in my book "Dear Jawaher" life is all about phases. There's even phases within phases. Like the school phase for example. There's the phase of being popular in school and the phase of being bullied in school. Luckily me being in bullied in school was short lived but no matter how short it was, it sure hurt going through it. The only way to describe it was to feel that life really sucked.

They were four boys of fourteen and I don't think they hated me, they just enjoyed picking on me. I was sensitive and opinionated which at the time when I was popular was going well, until they came along and began to see the enjoyment of pissing me off.

It was a break time in school and the three boys came up to me to tell me something "important" as they put it. The whole scene took a few seconds but it felt like a lifetime. The fourth boy had been behind me on his hands and knees while one of the boys pushed me back and I went flying backwards. I landed on my butt and pretended that I was fine as I swallowed my tears back. The problem is those boys were supposedly my friends. I didn't understand and still don't understand how people can be mean. Then again, I did mention in the book that my Mom had overprotected us and we grew up living in a bubble thinking that the world was full of nice people which just isn't true. There are mean people out there but as mothers, we want our children to think positive and believe that the world is "nice". How depressing to it would be for us to bombard them with all that is evil in the world. They'd probably go into a depression and never want to leave the house which does not a healthy child make!

After that incident with being toppled over by those boys, I went home heartbroken and told my mother as I sobbed and sobbed. My mother knew the principal as she knows everybody else and so she called and complained. This only made matters worse. The principal was mean too. She called me in and told me that the boys wouldn't have picked on me if I hadn't provoked it somehow!

As a teenager, I thought my whole life was falling apart but of course now that I'm older, I know that it wasn't and it never really is but it felt like it. It was when my insecurities were getting the better of me that I finally found a diamond in the rough.

In every classroom, there will always be a boy that is extra large and for us small kids can be called huge. This boy towered over everybody and he had a great sense of humor no matter who made fun of his size. He approached me one day and said "look, I know what happened and I think it wasn't nice of the boys to do that and I'd like to be your bodyguard, are you interested?"

I looked up at him puzzled "Why?" I asked.

"Because I'm huge and you need someone to protect you so think about it," he replied.

I wasn't one to give up on people and no matter how mean those boys were, I still didn't want to believe that everybody was mean so I agreed on the basis that we try it out for a while.

Well, the rest of the year went by like a breeze. He played the bodyguard role just like in the movies which I now understand what his motive was. He liked the feeling and of course I loved having a bodyguard and was so happy that phase of being bullied was over. Not only was it over, I was the girl who had her own bodyguard and I have to say it felt good to have the wheels turned.

That is the beauty of life. It's when you feel like you've hit rock bottom, something amazing happens that makes you finally understand why you had to hit rock bottom to get to where you are now.

It's been over thirty years since that incident in school but I still could never forget that huge boy who might even be reading my blog now. If you are...I just want to say thanks for being my bodyguard..and for bringing back to me the faith that not all people are mean!

Twenty two Years Post Refugee

My husband Mishal far left, Dusty Rhodes, Me  and Dusty's wife Pamela

Arriving in the States was like coming home. It's funny..every country has a certain smell and the minute I walked into a mall in America, I would take a deep breathe and close my eyes. There was a distinctive smell about it; a fresh smell of soap and scented candles that I always loved and I missed it.

My daughter JoJo (Jawaher) somehow knew that there was something special about America, was it her American genes that made her stomp her feet and say "I want to live here, I don't want to go home!" or was it the amazing colors of America? Who knew? How is it that when I showed her the American flag, she fell in love with it and wouldn't let it go...stood in the middle of the shop waving it and singing "I love America...I love America" her own song that she made up that rhymes with "nanee nanee boo boo". Was she trying to tease someone here? Who knew?!

Needless to say, the experience was amazing and it was great to meet up with all the family and friends there. What completely surprised me was one Marine that I had met in Bahrain twenty two years ago as a refugee.

Dusty Rhodes was a twenty year old Marine that was deployed to Bahrain during the invasion of Kuwait as part of Desert Storm. His camp was stationed in Awali, Bahrain and it was there that I and my sisters met Dusty and his friends. They missed home and we missed home. They wanted this whole thing to be over with so they can go home and we wanted this whole thing to be over so we could go home. Having this in common created a bond and somehow made the waiting period easier on all of us.

When Kuwait was finally liberated, we said our goodbyes and everybody went on with his old life except Dusty who suffered from the Gulf War Syndrome and checked himself into a Veteran hospital. It took a long time for him to get better but he did. And how did I know that? He drove five hours from New York with his wife to see me and the family while we were there. He had found me on Facebook and knew I will be coming to the States and he wanted to meet up after twenty two years!

It was a historical moment when he stepped out of his car carrying a bag full of pictures and newspaper clipping of his days in Bahrain. It was wonderful to introduce him to my husband and kids and share with them a little history of when I was a refugee. When I told Dusty that I was hoping to promote my book, he jumped and said "Send it to Jay Leno! I met him when he came out to visit us when I was there and I'm sure he'd love to help." I giggled and thanked him for his input. I'd already sent it to Jay Leno.

You see, that's the great thing about America, nobody laughs at your big, crazy dreams. Too many nobodies became somebodies so why not you. True Hollywood Stories can give you enough examples of that and it aint called the land of opportunity for nothing!

So maybe I won't hear from Jay Leno or maybe I will. Who knows! What I do know is that after Dusty's visit I felt like I had lived my own hollywood movie regardless if it was ever watched by the public or ever became a blockbuster. The Refugee and The Marine. Tell me that won't make an excellent title for a movie!

Heading To The Land of Opportunity

I'm all set to travel to the States next week. It'll be the first time I travel with my two kids; three year old Jawaher and one and half year old Majed. The idea of it petrifies me but I guess as the song goes..."do something everyday that scares you" and so I will...Crossing the Atlantic with two kids, a husband and lots of luggage! Wish me luck!

Why am I doing this? Well..I need to get my book on the bestseller's list and before I do that...I need to make sure that all my paper work is ready!

This is going to be the ultimate test to see if America really is the land of opportunity. Do dreams really come true? We've read enough books and stories to know that they've happened before so anything is possible..right?

So get ready America...coz here I come! Equipped with courage, hope and a whole lot of faith! 

Dear Jawaher by Mona Hajjaj

My Interview with Al Watan Daily

My interview with Al Watan Daily newspaper...Click on the link to read..

http://alwatandaily.kuwait.tt/ArticleDetails.aspx?Id=137146&dt=Thu%20Jan%2012%202012%2009:07:50%20GMT+0300%20(Arab%20Standard%20Time)